My dear son...oh goodness. I may burst into happy, grateful, loving tears just saying that.
This year has been one for the books. You have changed my life in countless ways, sweet babe.
I remember the day you were born like it happened only an hour ago. For whatever reason, I wasn't nervous at all when we were admitted into the labor and delivery room. Maybe it was the Lord's way of blessing me before the craziness began. When we found out we were going to have to have a semi-emergent c-section I let myself bawl but knew ultimately it was the only way you would survive. I'm so grateful we live in the day and age that we do for that reason. When the doctor said you were a blondie your dad and I laughed because we both said you would definitely be a brunette just hours before. Your silvery blonde hair was one of the most fun surprises!
You are an absolute sweetheart. I know so many mamas will say that about their children, but it really is true for you. The very first word that comes to mind when thinking of you is sweet. You wave at anyone and everyone (including Rigby who is still a tad skeptical of you), and you laugh and giggle at the simplest things. A good example of this is one day when we were having a hard day. You were crying and I began to cry also. When you noticed, you simply stopped crying, looked up at me, and then laid your head on my chest, totally silent. Moments like that melt my heart. You have such a tender heart already, little one.
That sweetness, however, is also followed by stubbornness. Your daddy and I have a hard time not laughing when you throw your fits after you don't get your way. We laugh out of love, of course, knowing that you are going to be just as stubborn as we are (sorry about that).
You have taught me things about myself this year that I was blind to before you came along. Knowing you and being your mama has made me a better person. I have been forced to face my flaws head on this year and actually deal with them. Your existence has sharpened me in ways I never could have imagined. Growing and learning isn't always easy, but I'm thankful that being your mom has shown me where my failures are and how I can improve who I am as your mom, a friend and a wife.
You have brought us so much joy and pride this past year. Goodness gracious. Watching you learn and grow and play has been one of the biggest joys of my life. Not every day has been butterflies and rainbows and we have definitely gone through our rough patches. There were days where I think I cried more than you did and half the time I think I'm just winging this whole motherhood thing. But you have been worth every single tear, every sleepless night, and every uncomfortable moment.
I wrote a note to you when you were one month old. It had been a rough day with lots of crying (probably from both of us) but I mentioned how much I still loved you more than words. I would rather have a million rough days with you than none without you. You are that precious to me.
But one thing I want you to remember more than anything in the world, sweet boy, is how loved you are by someone who is better and has a perfect love for you. You are loved by the Savior of all the world, Jesus, who is capable of things that your mommy and daddy aren't. Your dad and I will fail you time and time again but Jesus will never fail you. My prayer for you is that you will love and cherish Him even more than you love and cherish your daddy and me.
Happy Birthday, little buddy. Thank you for being my sweet boy. Thank you for bringing us joy upon joy this year. You are so very loved. We made it through one year and I cannot wait for the many more that we have ahead.
Love you always,